A commuter airport was closed briefly yesterday as the EPA wanted to protect a wayward Gelatinus whale, considered an endangered species. The whale was spotted by concerned members of PETA, who were worried that the water dwelling mammal was being kidnapped for nefarious purposes. It is estimated that the exposed flesh alone could power two dozen antique whale oil lamps for a week or more, even more if mixed with ethanol.
Very fortunately, it was just a overfed rapper/flutist named Lizzo entering an airplane in an R rated outfit. The confusion is obvious from seeing the picture. When not practicing indecent (and unattractive) exposure, she is a concerned planet activist and enthusiastic gourmand.
Note she is riding in a private jet, to help save the planet from excessive discarded peanut packages.
Lizzo declined to comment on the hygienic considerations of wearing this particular garment.
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