Women are now paying $5,000 to Blow Up their Booties
As a keen observer of trends in women’s buttocks, (some would call this being a leering pervert) I have recently noticed some young women whose rears are not only HUMONGOUS, but who wear ultra tight garments to ensure that you can’t miss the churning, undulating mass of flesh as it lumbers on its way. In this case, the young ladies in question strutted like supermodels on the runway, clearly feeling they were the sexiest babes in the place.
When I showed this photo to Billy Jr., he mentioned that it was likely these particular beauties PAID to EXPAND their keisters, and therefore are proudly showcasing them to attract male admiration. The process is known as a butt implant, and it involves placing fat extracted from stomachs, and or silicone implants, to expand and enhance fannies.
Women can now expand the topside and the bottom side, or both plus their lips, to enhance their beauty. How wonderful! How dreamy! How weird! Can you imagine Dolly Parton with a Toochis as proportionately large as her boobs? Frankly, I prefer not to.
(Note that if you transfer flab from your butt to your lips, you can ensure all future sexual partners kiss your ass daily. What a hoot!)
So what gives here? Millions of people looking to downsize their behind, and now we have women who get expensive plastic surgery to create pedestrian traffic hazards? Does this not puzzle you too?
Some interesting questions for these pioneers of intentional ass aggrandizement:
Do you have to buy TWO airline seats, or three?
Are you able to enter rooms without the assistance of Vaseline?
Do you sit a foot above the normal level at the dining table.
Have your dance moves injured nearby dancers?
Is your favorite song “Shake Your Booty”?
Most importantly, have any billionaires followed the bippy bait back to your place?
Well, we at Billy’s Institute of Booty Research (BIBR) would love to hear feedback to help solve this mystery. And any women trying to REDUCE their buns, we pledge to forward your contact info to broads (word taken literally) looking to stuff their panties with mondo extra volume. Seems like you could work out a great flab transfer with your plastic surgeons.
Just send your info to: firstname.lastname@example.org, and include your $100 service fee payable to Billy Bushwood Charities.