Twitters Board Of Bungling Directors

The Former Board of Directors Are Gross Incompetents

Two Twitter Board Members (kidding-these are actually senior Biden advisors)

News Note: Elon Musk fired 75% of the staff at Twitter. There has been no loss of service, or discernable change in the operations. Meaning that the people fired were adding nothing, but rather caused huge avoidable profit losses.

Remember these names everyone. They are on a par with Bernie Madoff in ripping off investors. In their case, as the Board of Directors for Twitter, deservedly fired after Elon Musk bought the company.

The BOD Hall of Shame includes Jack Dorsey, Parag Agrawal, Bret Taylor, Mimi Alemayehou, Egon Durban, Martha Lane Fox, Omid Kordestani, Dr. Fei Fei Li, Patrick Pechette, David Rosenblatt, and Robert Zoellick. Two of them are pictured, above. Collectively they earned $3M for their insights and wisdom. Assuming Agrawal’s pay was as CEO not Board member, that’s $3M for being charged with ensuring that investors got the most share value possible. $300,000 EACH to kills billions in shareholder value. One assumes they spent this bounty on bozo outfits.

Their so called oversight of the company led to an unimaginable waste of payroll, about $800 million of unnecessary moolah for woke slackers drinking free latte’s and picking their noses. I gather as a Board member, no one thinks to ask, what exactly do these people do? One assumes that the brain dead 2nd cousins of every manager there was on the payroll. After rejection as toll booth operators.

Typical Twitter Employee At Work

In 2021, Twitter lost $221 million. So the “oversight” of the board resulted in turning a potential profit of $579M into that embarrassing loss.

At the very least, this confederacy of dunces should pay back all the unearned money they got for being responsible for such a sorry performance.

Note: this post is a parody, I hope to avoid getting sued by the above mentioned knuckleheads

link to embarrassing annual report, in case you think I made all this up:

Twitter spends 75 pages explaining how they can lose so much money when ALL of the content is created by users, who get paid nothing. The actual numbers finally get revealed on page 76. For reference, the company managed to lose $1.1 billion (!) the year before.

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