A Tacky Tragedy
How many times have you carefully styled your hair, with comb, brush, curling iron, etc and then said to yourself, WOW I look great?! Better than any supermodels or actors ever did! I have just have to make this FABULOUS look permanent!
I know that I, a follicly challenged dude, spend literally seconds having these thoughts while I comb my few remaining strands over. However, I have then used regular old hair spray to keep my thinning locks from getting loose. While only temporary, neither life threatening nor painful
By contrast, a clearly mentally challenged woman named Tessica Brown believed that with her awesome new hair style made her look like Halle Barry, Beyonce, or possibly Elvis. Then, wanting to preserve that look in perpetuity, or maybe until the Hollywood talent agents could be summoned, that she would forgo regular hairspray for industrial strength glue.
Unfortunately, she neglected the warning label that would have told her this was a stupendously stupid idea.
The woman, one Tessica Brown (not found in any lists of Ivy League grads) applied a toxic product called Gorilla Glue on her head. The fact that no one, in known history, had done this before, kind of implies a certain milestone for moronic behavior. Billions of people have managed to avoid this incomprehensible act. Kind of puts her at the back of the line, IQ wise, does it not? Lets say, maybe in 7.8 billionth place
Surely she would be considered a Darwin award candidate, but fortunately Gorilla Glue on the head is not a fatal act.
Well, Ms. Brown went viral after she realized that a simple shampoo, or shaving her head, would not undue her hilariously imbecilic act. At the risk of making herself an international laughingstock, she went public with her dilemma. In response, and for some free publicity, a gracious plastic surgeon fixed her up, and she can now safely return to her career emptying wastebaskets, running for Congress, or spinning signs in front of mattress stores. Or wherever an intellectually challenged person such as she can find appropriate employment.
Feel free to contribute to her GoFundMe account, which is being raised to buy her some lessons in common sense. A LOT of money will be required. send bitcoin link to : Tessicagorillafund@billybushwood.com