The Most Idiotic Policing Consent Decree Ever-Baltimore Agrees to Let Cons Rate Cops



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Baltimore Police Chief Signing Consent Decree

The degree of idiocy demonstrable by the Administrative branch of the public sector in the U.S. (particularly large city government), is a subject worthy of Wikipedia content doubling prose.  Large U.S.  cities are capable of attaining Olympian levels of stupidity, graft, and mismanagement that would embarrass the Communists running Venezuela.

The latest demonstration of the level of doltishness that big city governments are capable of attaining is the crab obsessed city of Baltimore, otherwise known as the slag heap on the Patapsco.  This butt ugly example of how not to design a city, just signed a consent decree to address its apparent faults in policing its crime oriented citizenry.  (Note:  Baltimore has the distinction of having the 5th highest murder rate among major cities in the country).  The Decree was signed after an uproar and Mayor-approved riot to protest the death of a black person being transported in a police vehicle. (see Freddy Gray ).  Although all of the police personnel subsequently indicted were acquitted with alacrity, this act was seen as an act of police malfeasance which required a major behavioral overhaul among the BPD.

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Downtown Baltimore Waterfront View


If you choose to read the entire brainless document that resulted, the Baltimore Police Department agreed that they had been cruelly abusing its citizens and were guilty of multiple kinds of illegal discrimination.  To ensure an end to this abuse, the Police department were subjected to  a proctology exam by the Federal Justice Department, who then imposed on the BDP a 227 page set of rules that will now dictate their everyday behavior.  (The document even dictates the toilet paper required in the city jails; it must be 2 ply).

You can choose to read the whole mess by clicking on the link below.  Don’t go to Google and read the summary, that doesn’t get you the details dictated by the devil.  The details are both too disturbing and mockworthy to be missed.

For example, the consent decree requires that Baltimore undergo annual Community Engagement Assessments.  Among those required to be surveyed, and I quote here, are :

“Identify representative samples of City residents, police personnel, and custodial arrestees so that the survey is designed to capture a representative sample of Baltimore residents including members of each Demographic Category”.

So let me understand this little bit of lunacy.  The City of Baltimore will survey arrested criminals to get their point of view on how well they have been “engaged” by the poor cop that arrested them. After EVERY arrested con complains about their treatment, as you can imagine will happen, cops will get a negative reviews in their annual “Community Review Assessment”.  “

Supervisor:  “Officer Johnson, it says here that Phelonious O’Felon says you were rude to him, shot him before he could get his knife out to stab you, and had halitosis when reading him is rights.  You are going to have to make these interactions more positive from the criminals’ perspective if you hope to keep your job”.  Cop:  Next time, you want I should  let him stab me?”  Supervisor:  “Lemme check the Consent Decree..”.

Further examples of the mockable randomness of this agreement includes:

Any involuntary stop requires a 10 point written report as to the whys of the stop, the reason for the stop, etc.

The BPD agreed not to stop anyone just because they are loitering in a high crime area.  Possibly people hanging around in high crime areas are on a boy scout mission, or collecting for the Salvation Army?  Can’t stop anyone for looking suspicious in a war zone.

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Can’t Stop Them Anymore

Here is a couple more stupendously stupid limits on cops:

  • Basing Investigatory Stops or Detentions only on an individual’s response to the presence of police officers, such as an individual’s attempt to avoid contact with an officer (presumably running away from a cop is perfectly OK now.)
  • Basing Investigatory Stops or Detentions on an individual’s presence in the company of others suspected of criminal activity without any additional reasonable articulable facts that an individual is, has, or is about to be engaged in criminal activity; (so hanging around with criminals is not necessarily suspicious. What a relief for our politicians when they visit Baltimore-  Citizens can hang out with them without fear of arrest!)

There are paragraphs upon paragraphs dictating every aspect of any interaction between a cop and a member of the public, including the use of appropriate pronouns describing an LGBQT citizens sexual orientation, and not grabbing their crotch to see if they got their equipment ginsu’d off.

Then there is this little bit of asinine direction:

  • Policies on Officers’ Use of Force 125. BPD will require officers to use de-escalation techniques, including verbal persuasion and warnings and tactical de-escalation techniques such as slowing down the pace of an incident, waiting out subjects, creating distance (and thus the reactionary gap) between the officer and the threat, and
  • requesting additional resources (e.g. specialized units, behavioral health care providers, negotiators, etc.), whenever possible, before resorting to force and to reduce the need for force. 126. Prior to using force, BPD officers shall be required to use, as appropriate and reasonably practical, a critical thinking, decision-making framework to analyze and respond to incidents through which officers: a. Gather relevant facts about the incident; b. Assess the situation, threats, and risks; c. Consider police powers and BPD policy; d. Identify options and determine the best course of action; and e. Act, review, and re-assess the situation

So the homicidal maniac threatening a school bus full of kids requires about three hours of analysis, calling in of experts, gathering facts, considering PBD policy, and about 10 dead schoolchildren before you blow his brains out.  How great is THAT?

All of you who don’t believe this can be true, I recommend you read the entire 227 page monstrosity which now governs the hapless police department in Baltimore.  I read about 50 pages and ran out of the ability to further stomache any more  of this seriously misguided document.

My advice to the zions of Baltimore (100 murders already, most in 20 years; the Mayor has said the city is out of control) is to arm yourselves heavily, as no cop will be able to protect you.  They will be too busy “assessing the situation, considering police powers and BPD policy, identifying options, and determining the best course of action.”  Defend yourself, or you will be assessing eternity from the other side.  RIP.

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