The animal rights activist organization PETA (People not Eating The Animals) recently sent bikini models to Cuba in a publicity stunt, to promote veganism.  The attractive young ladies wore bathing suits made of lettuce, apparently hoping to spare the lives of lycra and spandex also.

We here at the Billy Bushwood Institute for Attempting to Understand Whackjobs (BBIAUW)  are deeply puzzled.  Because Cuba is ruled by Communist Dictators, and communist countries always have a difficult time feeding their citizens properly, the average Cuban apparently can’t eat meat BECAUSE THERE IS HARDLY ANY THERE.

The link below will take you to the story, which I am sure you will believe that I made up otherwise.

http://www.reuters.com/video/2017/03/03/peta-activists-in-lettuce-bikinis-call-f?videoId=371228006

Here is a highly relevant quote regarding the diet of the average Cuban.

“Specifically, Cubans are limited in what they can buy by a Communist Party ration book. According to the Cuban journalist Yusnaby Pérez, the average Cuban ration book allows for the monthly purchase, among other minor items, of five eggs, five pounds of rice, half a pound of oil, 1/4 pound coffee cut with toasted split peas, two one-kilogram packages of salt a year, a pound of chicken, and another 3/4 pound of chicken meant to substitute a no longer existent fish ration. Pérez quotes one pensioner as estimating that the monthly rations last him an average of ten days.”

I am sure that the Cubans who saw these cabbage clad dimwits strolling down Main and Starvation streets wished they had brought a ham sandwich or two, rather than a gustatory philosophy completely irrelevant to their food deprived lives.  Possibly the people at PETA were unaware that a full diet of vegan food, rather than insects and tree leaves, would be a big dietary upgrade for their targeted audience.  One can only shrug at the insanity of spending real money to advocate voluntary food deprivation among the starving.   But possibly the management at PETA enjoy irony, or are just living in their own, weird world.

It would not be nice of me to pass on the baseless rumor that the dimwits were chased down Starvation Street to Torture Way, by citizens that wanted to eat the lettuce they were wearing as it would be their only meal that day.   Or possibly they were chased because the tofu brains were candidates to BE dinner that night.  Among those folks not yet persuaded to become Vegans.

Pun Alert:  Gotta Mock PETA here.

This campaign is udderly senseless.  They made a real hash of it.  They shouldn’t use sex appeal to hog the limelight.  The derision they will receive will dog them for years.  What a cat-astrophic program.  Please don’t egg them on. OK, enough.