For reasons not clear to this amateur economist, (OK, I browsed thru an old copy of the Economist once), there has been limited press coverage of the scientific proof that the law supply and demand is nothing but a bucket of pure bulldog drool.   All of those charlatanic PhD economists, practicing their dark, inscrutable ‘dismal science’, must be red-faced with humiliation.  They now have to come clean, confess to the error of their ways, rewrite their dreary theses (note this word rhymes with feces.)  All existing economic textbooks can be burned on the quad, to be replaced by the new wisdom.

For those not trained in economic theory, the old, discredited belief system was that how much society would consume of anything depended on the supply, which then set the price.  Under this risible theory, you will eat out less if the price of filet mignon down at Chez Bougaire doubles. Whereas we now know, you will eat out just as much as before!!

We now know all of this because our soon to be Prez Hillary will raise the minimum wage to $15.00 per hour, double the current rate.  Although this will double all payroll costs (and everyone’s salary at a business goes up when the entry wage goes up, trust me), prices will surely rise dramatically.  But due to the now accepted theory of demand and supply, these higher prices will not change amount of stuff people will buy.  Therefore, no companies will go out of business due to a lack of customers.  In fact, sales will double due to the price increases!!! GNP will double!!!

Hallelujah and hosanna!!

Just scratching my head a little, though.  If everything costs twice as much, won’t we all have to earn twice as much money, for this new, undeniably correct theory to hold?  Oh yes, ALL of our salaries WILL have been doubled.  Now I get it.  No problem here.

Good thing we don’t have to worry about that whole inflation thingy, either.

So thanks to Bernie sanders, Hillary Clinton, the Ivy League profs who have brought to you this fantastic news!!  We will all soon get paid twice as much!!!  There be less unemployment.  Our pet unicorns will poop peppermints, poverty will be eliminated, cancer will be cured, and I will run a Marathon in three hours.

Enjoy your $30.00 Big Mac.  Pay the robot at register 5.