Lady Gaga, Counter Insurgency Detective, On the Case

Lady Gaga, in counter insurgency detector disguise

I can report that our republic is safe from insurgents, as we have the noted crime detector Lady Gaga watching for the next mob of unarmed, viking hat wearing nutjobs conspiring to take over our government.  (They have been charged with trespassing, mostly.)

Lady Gaga performed at Joe Biden’s inauguration celebration, so was in DC for that signal day.  The big nosed, meat dress wearing sleuth was concerned that more Trump supporting violent radicals may have been lurking behind dumpsters or pretending to be innocent tourists somewhere on the National Mall.  Just prior to rushing the Capital building, and seizing control of power! Bwa hahahaha!

So, putting on her Sherlock Holmes hat and picking up her magnifying glass, she carefully watched for signs of imminent government overthrow.

Just in case you refuse to believe this story, the proof is buried in page 37 of the attached article.  Really.

I am not sure what such signs would be.  Bulging trench coats, hiding RPG’s or AR 15’s?  Fifty calibre weapons mounted to Dodge Rams?  Khaki slacks and polo shirt wearing citizens sporting MAGA hats? 

Notably, no such signs were detected by her or anyone else.  But, she passed on the reassuring news that she was on the lookout for trouble, just in case.  Interestingly, she was in such fear of Trump supporters that she sang the national anthem in a bullet proof dress.  No rump steaks or pork chops in her couture that day. 

Can anyone say, looney toon?

Of course, she is a heroin user who performs in leather slutwear.  She has no training in counter insurgency.  (Hint: It is easier to detect in Portland OR, where ski mask wearing anarcho communists are burning down police stations.)  So I am not so sure her assurances are worth all that much.  But she clearly thinks they are.  And making whackos feel good about themselves costs nothing, so many thanks Ms. Germanotta.   We are all sleeping easier knowing you are protecting our liberties. 

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