The American team is not close to being competitive, and other snarky observations

This thespian got a slight kick to the shins. He many need a leg amputation

I watched as many of the world cup games and come away both impressed (by the good teams) and depressed (by the flopping, refs enabling flopping, and the poor play of some of the lesser teams)

I actually played some soccer (2 years in college) so you would expect that I would be a major soccer fan. In truth, I only watch at world cup time. The lack of scoring, the dismal games that occur when the inferior team puts 11 guys in the box and does not even try to play offense, turn me off.

However, when two teams with great offenses and transcendent players, (France and England, Messi and Mbape) go at each other its awesome sport and well worth watching. In my experience, its pretty rare that a clearly inferior team puts on a good show against a top level team. They just don’t have the skills to score. You need 3-4 guys who can dribble around the other players team to create chances. Spain, Agentina, and France has 5-6 such players. The US, and Cape Verde, even Brazil, none or maybe one. The game becomes tedious until the better team finally gets a goal.

Okay, a word about the US team. I hate to sound pessimistic. But when they lost badly to Belgium, which was then soundly trounced by Spain, it revealed to all that the Americans are playing high school football, whereas Spain and Argentina are Seahawks or Patriots. Not being snarky, the US is my team. USA! USA!. But it was tough to watch that game. Not as close as the final score, 4-1. Thats the equivalent of Ohio State beating Bowling Green 69-7. Even within the better teams, there are super bowl contenders and…teams with no shot such as Cleveland; (e.g. Morocco).

Why is the US so uncompetitive at soccer? Well, we don’t even call it by its proper name! Thats a start. My theory: several contributing factors. Kids can get college scholarships playing multiple sports here; football, basketball, baseball, wrestling, lacrosse, ice hockey, tonsil hockey (wait, thats what football star play with sorority sisters). To develop into a world cup premier soccer talent, kids are identified at early ages; 10-12 years old. They leave school and do nothing but play soccer all day. (This is also true of Dominican Republic baseball players). The vast number of alternative sports (girls can get scholarships for bowling!) draws away many, if not most, top athletes. These stay at home and still go to school five days a week. American parents are NOT going to let junior or juniorette or transette leave home at 10 years old and go on the road to play only soccer. If they don’t make it, no college degree, no high school degree. Not going to happen. (In Canada, junior league hockey starts at age 11).

So don’t expect the US to home grow any superior soccer talent any time soon. Tellingly, our best scorer, Folarin Balugin, was born in the US but grew up in England. He might not even have made the English team. Why he played for us.

Not to get educational, but the reason Spain and Portugal are so good in the World Cup is that the best players start playing together under one consistent system from an early age. EVERYONE who comes up from childhood in those countries has played the same brand of soccer their whole lives. Now they may play for an assortment of teams in top tier professional leagues, but once reunited on their national teams they play the same style. This isn’t true of any other countries’ teams (that I know of). Now you know.

OK, now a word of abject derision about the amateur acting classes that go on in every soccer game. If you even brush past another player, they will immediately flop to the ground and hold a body part in abject agony. This is an act. Almost 100% of the time after these high school musical level dramas, the flopper gets up and immediately runs 30 miles an hour. His team gets a free kick, which can lead to goals. Refs are supposed to penalize floppers, and there are reviews of suspected floppers. But mostly, the futbol thespians are enabled in their cheap/cheating behavior. We have had many instances where successful flops dictated the result of the game. Its a stain on the game. Like flopping in the NBA, which is terrible (talking about YOU, LeBron) but much less prevalent or consequential.

If you compare the minor physical contact a soccer player has before he hits the ground in seeming level 10 pain, versus how American peewee football players hit each other IN PRACTICE, you will laugh out loud. International futbol players look like a bunch of abject pussies, by comparison to any american football or hockey or lacrosse players. Hey, our GIRLS playing basketball hit each other more solidly than most soccer penalties. THEY don’t flop around like hooked trouts on the deck. THEY act like MEN. Soccer players, lamentably, do not.

Well, the World Cup Oscars performances have ended. But sadly, we will not see futbol as compelling as this for four more years. But take heart futbol fans. I am told that you can see even BETTER soccer played by watching the Premier League games. In these games, you have an even better collection of players on one team than the Spanish World Cup team had. You will still have way too much flopping, and often not much scoring. BUT you will see superior skills on display.

Pick a team to root for and who knows, you may become an enthusiastic fan and wear a jersey. You will have to get up at 7:00 on Saturdays to watch, or DVR the games though.

Who knows, I might just do this myself. I decided Kenny Dalgliesh is my favorite player for no good reason except google says hes the best player on Liverpool.

BTW the best teams in the Premier League, according to Google, are Manchester City, Liverpool, Arsenal, and Chelsea.

Kenny Dalgliesh of Liverpool

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