The Death of the Super Bowl Halftime Show
Sunday’s desultory superbowl was a viewing disaster in so many ways. My team, the Patriots, lost. The game itself SUCKED. Essentially a defensive slugfest, won by the Seahawks field goal kicker. (Other than the extra point, the most boring play in football).
So I held my beer and cried into my buffalo chicken wings. When I was awake that is. Superbowl games this boring were a feature back in the 1990’s, when the San Francisco 49’s beat the AFC victim du jour 51-3 every year. Lately they have been far more exciting. Its hard to image more boring game.
At least back then we had Michael Jackson, Paul McCartney, Bruce Springsteen, surrounded by scantily clad cheerleaders and long legged dancers dressed in tight outfits. THAT is entertainment. Hit songs that the audience had heard before. Sung in a language that everyone watching could understand. Talented and attractive dancers, with interesting coreography. AND Hewlitt Packard’s famous commercial, with cowboys herding cats. I still remember it vividly, how I laughed AND got the message.
This year we had a Puerto Rican singer, whose songs no one has heard of and are unknown to the mostly ofay and middle aged American audience. songs. Many of which were filthy, replete with overt references to having sex (“To have the flight attendant suck you off in the sky” sings our poet laureate Mr. Awful Bunny).
When Dreadful Bunny wasn’t singing about sex with hos, he sang about how awesome HE is. How many women want to screw him. Compares himself to Messi, LeBron, John Lennon, and Verstappen. Brags about how rich he is. About how he is cheating on his girlfriend. And his drug use. What a great guy! What an absolute sex and drug crazed, egomaniac asshole!
Of course, those of us watching Kid Rock sing songs with Christian themes, IN ENGLISH, missed Disgusting Bunny’s profane and explicit performance. Some people like his “music” I guess. I had to search the web to watch the show and understand his licks. Safe to say, he is not going to be on my Spotify playlist. Admittedly hip, I am not.
I was also completely unimpressed by the dancers. Most of the gals were wearing boring outfits, and looked like female rugby players. Sized 14-18, by my observation. The dance looked like it was coreographed by a deranged rap video “artist”. All physicality and coiled violence, plus sexual grinding. No artistic moves. Dreck. AND boring.
I saw NO images of the cheerleaders. Why the hate for the gals? They dance far better than Dreck Bunny’s truck driving crew.
Just to make sure the Appalling Bunny’s total impact is accounted for, he was also insulting and divisive to America. Waved a Puerto Rican flag, NOT and American flag. Led a parade of carribean flag waving people across a metatphorical US Border, a clear open borders theme; (opposed by 80% of the American population). He implies in his lyrics that Hawaii was ruined by America. (Must be the concentration of wealth there; and the lack of drive thru poi joints).
Watch The HP commercial about Cowboy Cat Herders. Hilarious!
In case you missed it, either because you don’t care or are too lazy to look them up. Here are Disgusting Bunny’s most family friendly lyrics.
My D is being chased and I want you to hide it
Grab it like a bonga
She took a pill that made her horny
She fucks in the Audi, not in the Honda, ayy
If I give it to you, don’t call me
‘Cause this is not to make you love me
If your boyfriend doesn’t—
He better fu—, ayy, ayy
And:
She-she-she-she-she-she is quiet, but in sex she’s daring, I know
Marijuana and booze, enjoying life as it is (Wooh)
She is quiet, but in sex she’s daring, I know
Marijuana and booze, enjoying life as it is
And:
You don’t know what it’s like to be out at high sea with two hundred hoes
To have the flight attendant suck you off in the sky
What it’s like to throw five hundred thousand at the strip club
That’s why I don’t care about your opinion
That’s why you’re 101 in the top 100, and I’m first
You’re not rappers anymore, now you’re podcasters
My barber charges more than you
Fucking and traveling around the world
When not being family friendly, Retch Bunny was hating on America:
They want to take my river and my beach too
They want my neighborhood and grandma to leave
No, don’t let go of the flag nor forget the lelolai
‘Cause I don’t want them to do to you what happened to Hawaii
No, don’t let go of the flag nor forget the lelolai
‘Cause I don’t want them to do to you
Apparently we Americans have ruined Puerto Rico, which is a crime ridden, third world, corrupt, and who annually receives many billions of subsidies by US taxpayers. And Hawaii, we have destroyed. According the bilious Mr. Bunny.
In closing, most of the commercials were unmemorable, boring. The AI commecials I did not even get. There were a few that I recall. As usual, I loved the Dunkins commercial. The Budweiser eagle and clydesdale commercial hearkens back to an era when Bud loved American and its customers, and was great. Other than that, at $6-8M a pop, a pretty pricey dull thud. Great work, Madison Avenue!
https://www.vibe.com/lists/bad-bunny-songs-translated-into-english/monaco/
Billy Bushwood's BS Blog 