Both 5/10 Stars.

Woke Nonsense: None, minimal

I know, just what the world needs is ANOTHER treatment of the Frankenstein monster story. As much as we need more superhero movies, vampire movies, or 47 additional tedious hours of Wicked. That is to say, not at all.

Despite my boredom with the whole Legos, “some assembly required” Frankie movie, I watched it because all you could see at the Olympics Saturday was Curling and Team Ice Skating. Which will be followed by another 400 hours of warmups, short programs, free skate programs, Ice Dancing, Curling, discussions of the childhoods of figure skaters, reviews of outfits, etc etc. I needed a break.

The movie stars Oscar Issacs as the mad professor, Christopher Walz as his financier, and two people who you’ve never heard and whose performances are un memorable. Jacob Elordi is the Monster. Theres a woman that Issacs lusts after. As you will recall with most treatments of the usually green goon, he doesn’t say that much. Until he does, at least in this rendition; we hear him THINK dialog.

This treatment reimagines the monster as a misunderstood, gentle soul who however is prone to murderous rages. But he’s more THOUGHTFUL. His creator decides to kill him, as he is dangerous. OK, thats not original much. Come to think of it, nothing is really that orginal. There is some convoluted way that Professor Frankie figures out how to scavenge spare parts from a battlefield, using a little needle and thread and duct tape, to make the creature. Still requires electricity though. Hmmm. So-nothing new.

Sadly, there is no Igor. Always enjoyed the humpbacked little dude, skulking around cemetaries to bring back the parts for the monster kit. Left out here.

So really, this is mostly just another rendition of the same old same old, moldy creature feature, with a few minor twists. But its entertaining enough, if this is your kinda unscary monster movie. Give it a C for average.

The Wrecking Crew

The Wrecking Crew stars Jason Mamoa and David Bautista as half brothers whose biological dad gets offed in the opening scene. Both are huge humans, (interestingly Mamoa dwarfs Bautista! Hes beyond huge!) who have backgrounds in which they have attained “certain skills,” like Liam Neeson in Taken 1-12. Bautista is a seal and Mamoa is a wild and crazy cop. Together they bring the mass of a mid sized bulldozer, hence The Wrecking Crew.

Bautista exhibits the emotion range of a beached whale, less the last gasp of life. I find the appeal that he brings to the flick to be highly questionable. Bet though, he works relatively cheap. He absolutely earns every dollar of that bargain basement role.

Mamoa, on the other hand, is funny and his acting is decent enough. I buy his character and despite his being annoying when arguing with Bautista, he is likeable. Half a good lead cast, anyways.

Bautista is a family man living in Hawaii, where Mamoa grew up before he moved to Oklahoma to be a cop. Mamoa’s girlfriend is Morena Baccarin, who has a minor role and hence vastly underutilized. (Note to director: You have a scene where Baccarin is on the beach, but you don’t give us a view of her wearing a bikini? WTF were you thinking? )

Overall, in a beach resort populated by women who can wear bikinis to work, the director (Angel Soto; known for the soaring masterpiece Blue Beetle). left out any and all gratuitous skin. Bad call, doofus brain. (Note the lead producers are Mamoa and Bautista. Also missed a tanned/golden opportunity here boys)

Japanese gangsters try to Kill Mamoa, which leads him to suspect that something is rotten in Waikiki. He flies home for the first time in 20 years, having blown off his loser of a dad and his half brother. He comes off at first as a real jerkoff. And frankly doesn’t change until the closing act.

The two join forces to figure out why their dad was murdered, leading them to Yazuka gangsters in league with a corrupt politician. There’s pretty good action scenes as the bad guys try to prevent their dastardly schemes from being discovered by our bickering, odd couple half brothers. Yes, you have seen this movie before. Many times.

But the judgement of a popcorn flick such as this one is how well the tale is told. I say decently enough here. I enjoyed watching it, recommend it the next time that the Olympics are showing highlights from the Curlina arena. Or Ice dancing while playing pinnocle.

Bushwood Recommendation: Young Frankenstein, one of the funniest films ever made. Mel Brooks masterpiece. If you haven’t seen it, watch it before the Wrecking Crew.