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I read recently in the Wall Street Journal that the divorce rate in Brazil has been skyrocketing. This is making the jilted spouses sad. They have turned to witches and warlocks to cast spells to bring their spouses back to them. Really. I have provided the link to the story, lest you think I am making this up.
The fact that Brazilians believe the following spells and activities will take the wood out of a guys woody, or prevent him from cheating, struck me as hilarious. I quote from the estimable WSJ:
“Among the most popular rituals are those that promise to keep cheating husbands faithful by giving them erectile dysfunction.”
“This one’s infallible,” says a man, dressed in white, who identifies himself in a video posted online as Father John of Ogun, in reference to an African warrior.”
“He’ll never look at another woman again!” he says, binding up a piece of tissue covered in what he says is sperm and planting it in the stem of a banana tree. “
Other spells are cast using chicken feet, goat entrails, and God knows what else.
Before I mocked the superstitious Brazilians too thouroughly, I reflected on the fact that LOTS of Americans believe crazy stuff, too. You know, men can get pregnant. The Browns will someday win the Superbowl. Kamala Harris can articulate a coherent sentence. Risible brain cramps like these.
Accordingly, I say it’s clear that this is an income opportunity for those willing to complete my sorcerer/sorceress training course on spell casting. Packages start at just $199 and include wand waving techniques, recipes for brewing magic potions, trial packet of dried eye of newt, and a complete how to for summoning demons. And of course, a spell book with step by step instructions (with video guidance!) on both adultery prevention and rekindling passion incantations. Note: introductory package does NOT include dessicated chicken feet, goal entrails, or black robes; (these are available from our merchandise warehouse at low low prices).
Think of the customers who will line up to keep their spouses from straying, or to get their secret lust targets to fall in love with them. Better than any dating app! I bet that Americans would literally pay thousands for your spells, which would help us solve our birth dearth problem while playing cupid.
Click the link below to get started on your way to multimillionaire status!!
Billy Bushwood's BS Blog 