Anyone who has enjoyed the Argument sketch from Monty Python (click on the youtube video above for a refresher) should see its absurdity channelled in this year’s UN Climate Conference.
The world UN Climate conference on the impending end of the world was held this year in Bata, Azerbaijian. Hundreds attended, along with a dozens of concerned journalists. (Azerbaijian is a big oil supplier, and its president rejected the purpose of the conference unapolojectically. I believe he was the keynote speaker!)
Based on my perceptions as to this climactic circle jerk, I want to get a job as a delegate to climate conferences. Although this one was held in Azerbajian, instead of someplace swanky and exotic like Gstaad or Singapore, the attendees to the UN Climate Change Conference are lucky indeed. They got to fly first class and stay in nice hotels, with gratis meals and booze. I would love two weeks paid vacation, even just for the frequent flyer miles. I would stop in Phu Ket on the way home, paid for with Marriott points.
With Donald Trump winning the US election, everyone there knew that the he was not going to cough up one plugged nickel to address the climate concerns. Which Trump and Vance have declared to be a hoax, a fraud, horse droppings, etc.
The Euros are unlikely to cough up any money if the US won’t, and in any case they don’t have any to give up. Not one payment of Euros is seriously under discussion.
Hilariously, given this reality, the 3rd world climate attendees demanding they get paid for damage done by industrial pollution went all in. They wanted not one sous less than $1.3 trillion annually. Making a more feasible proposal, like getting their bar tabs paid, might have been approved. But such a demand (and it was delivered as an absolute minimum) is like the Monty Python skit. Completely nonsensical.
Amusingly, the big polluters of the world (now just Europe) offered $250 billion A YEAR. Which they each knew was never going to get paid either. And as each side stuck out their tongues at each other, shook their fists, got red in the face, arguing over absolutely nothing, we cynical bloggers got a real chuckle.
To further add to the irony of such a fruitless event, no one was demanding that China do or pay anything. Despite being the worlds biggest polluter. If only Greta Thunberg would fly to Beijing, Xi would surely pony up a trillion or two. Hahahaha. But I digress.
Here is my proposal for future climate conferences. Hire the participants to the annual Krampus Parade in Norway to choose up sides and have a conference with each other. They can do this right there in Oslo, and the rest of the world can offer to fund the reindeer bisque and acquavit. You know, throw the party. It would be a lot cheaper, have the same net effect, and be really funny to watch.
For a preview of the comedic potential of this proposal, check out the tiktok below. If you have never seen the Krampus parade, you are in for a treat.
Billy Bushwood's BS Blog 