Insanity reigns as the quintissential Macho Man’s car goes gay

Wow, so cool. A completely innocuous font, with a PINK background

This is the marketing genius behind Jaguars new LGBQT brand image. Santino Pietrosanti. Spoiler alert: He’s gay and thats his cockapoo.

Its always amazing to see an iconic brand commit hari kari, sticking a short sword through their own brand. But here we are again.

Recently we saw Bud light put a major hurt on its brand, when it was THE BIGGEST SELLING BEER in the United States. Sales fell 30% and have stayed there, unlikely ever to recover. You see, Bud Lights sales were 95% to straight males (I think) and they decided the way to increase sales was to dump its humorous macho image and appeal to the trans market segment (.004% of the population). The results were predictable. The people responsible were fired and their replacements are trying desperately to crawl out of the grave they dug themselves. Good luck. Modello Especiale is now the best selling beer brand in the US.

Now we have Jaguar, a car I always aspired to own. Its sexy and cool lines are classic and most men I know would have loved to own one. Now, the brand is also notorious for its unreliability, so unless you could afford your own mechanic, you tended to shy away. But we all envied the guys who could scoff at such concerns. They got to drive a car we peons can only dreamed of.

1967 Jaguar XJE. This ones worth $267,000

Lets be real here. I bet that women made up less than 2% of their customer base. And transvestites? Maybe a couple of cars sold in the past 10 years.

Oh, and the other thing we guys all wished we had on our cars. That leaping Jag hood ornament. So Macho! So iconic!

I guess Jaguar was concerned about the potential sales for sports sedans (declining). So they thought, no need to improve the maintenance record of the brand to improve sales. Or to create more models of SUV’s which now dominate the US car market. Maybe a 4×4 pickup version that can take an exit ramp at 100 mph on the way to lay down a bed full of mulch? You betcha that would sell.

Jaguar F Pace SUV. $91,000. Jaguar offers 2 models of SUVs

But no, these obvious strategic moves were rejected by the geniuses at Jaguar. Instead, the have adopted a new, boring font WHILE ELIMINATING THE MOST FAMOUS BRANDING SYMBOL IN THE AUTOMOTIVE INDUSTRY. Thats right, they killed off the Jaguar. Sorry Austin Powers.

To add to the insult, the company has launched an ad campaign featuring not James Bond, or LeBron James, or some macho cool guy we all want to be like. But a bunch of fairies in dresses. Really. Below is the video of the absurd ad.

New idea for hood ornament. More fitting to the new brand image

Click the link to watch a bunch of weirdos flouncing in absurd outfits.

Maybe sales will leap forward in the metaphoric way that their former brand symbol did. Personally, color me skeptical (or laughing my ass off.) Sales are going to tank as the guys who bought Jaguars as an expression of their male ids, will buy BMWs or Porsches. Expect the market for used Jags to plummet. What straight male wants to be associated with transgender people flouncing around in dresses? Hint to Jaguar management: NONE.

So, hats (skirts?) off to the marketing geniuses at Jaguar. I no longer want one for free, even if you include free maintenance for 10 years.

Note to the corporate ownership over in India, Tata. What in the world were you guys thinking? Possibly too much 57 alarm curry on the brain? बेवकूफ़ bevakoofs