Biden wants us to eat bugs to save the planet

If you are wondering if our government couldn’t possibly get any weirder, the answer is clear. Its getting weirder every damned insane day.

Biden Admin Funding Research To Get Americans To Eat Trash-Fed Crickets

The latest is the Biden Administration, which believes the end of the world is upon us if we don’t cut our greenhouse emissions. Research indicates that growing food, (that which sustains life on the planet) is a major cause of everyone going to die soon as the planet’s weather changes. The estimate of this imminent death for the planet has been a rolling 15 years for the past 50 years.

Clearly, one of the solution is for us to stop eating meat. You see cows, sheep, pigs, and chickens eat a lot, then fart lots of methane. This livestock flatulence is a major cause of our incipient demise. Plus low level fart smog over large cattle ranches.

Just a small note of skepticism. If cow farts are so bad, why is there no climate emergency over Iowa and other livestock growing states? Just wondering why those particular states aren’t already stacking up dead bodies from the climate change there?

Anyways, someone in the Biden administration thinks the solution is to eat bugs, whose flavor and appeal is enhanced by being raised eating vile, odiferous, rotting garbage. Ever see a fat bird or howler monkey? So it will be good for us to ingest insects and would also lower medicare spending. The fact that most rational humans find the entire prospect of eating bugs horrifying, is just a minor impediment that can be overcome with pro roach-eating stories in the New York Times (they have already written hundreds of these) and having FDA enforcers at every restaurant holding staves, forcing the ingestion of dung beetles instead of chicken parm.

Accordingly, our government is spending $130,000 to research how to make bug eating more affordable (so it’s currently disgusting AND prohibitively expensive!) The answer, as you may have surmised, is to feed the bugs garbage. Yes, you read correctly. Just recover food waste out of the landfills, feed it to bugs, and voila! Less food wasted, food no one will eat is created, at a price that people would pay if you forcefully eliminated all other forms of protein in food. (Note that so far, this has worked only in Japanese WW II prison camps.)

How garbage would be created if there was no food from livestock, is apparently not a concern for these brave climate warriors. Unless crickets thrive on Kale, which would be a surprise to this Kale hating satirist. I believe that 90% of all kale that is grown winds up in the garbage, as even pigs won’t eat something that bitter. Why would crickets eat it?

So here we have proof positive that our government is populated by insane whackos, who have an unlimited checkbook. Whats next, making everyone take the ocean going train to Europe? Wait, we have a team looking to force that to happen also.

I have an economical and logical solution to governmental insanity. Combine the psychiatric department of HHS with the federal personnel department. We can find our bureaucrats in the insane asylums, without the expensive recruiting trips to colleges. They will probably work cheap, and its hard to imagine that group coming up with worse solutions than this one.

As a final note, eating bugs carries some risk. If they communally become aware that we are eating them in vast quantities, they might coalesce and come after us for brunch. We have historical precedent for this danger, as you can see in this real picture.